Hey

I got to talk to my Love yesterday which was great. I just wish we could've talked longer... Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who wants this relationship to work. I know that's not true. I know them doing what they need to do will be better for both of us in the long run. That of course doesn't make the loneliness and the sadness easier to deal with...
It doesn't stop me from wondering when my life will begin and my dreams will come true. It doesn't stop me from worrying that all the stuff I want to happen won't happen...
And in the end I guess it doesn't matter if they gave me all the attention in the world cause I might still feel like this.
Of course I can't be 100% sure since I never met anyone who gave me all the attention in the world. I never met anyone who was loyal and friendly and loved me for me.
It hurts when I see people who have people like that in their lives... Actual Angels... And they take them for granted.
If there ever comes a day when I have an Angel in my life who treats me how I want to be treated and loves me for me. The good and the bad. I hope I never take them for granted. I hope I remember the day when I wanted that and I hope I appreciate that person whoever they may be as much as they appreciate me.

Hey

I been busy lately and I've been posting on my phone which is acting kind of like a klutz.
It's raining today. I love the rain. I don't know why but it makes me feel relaxed. Like I think I'd be a lot more stressed if it wasn't raining...
Yesterday I had a chance to talk to my friend and if I get the chance to talk to them again I'm going to skip it. I know this is really mean,  but they were being extremely annoying(amongst other things). The only reason I say it's mean is cause you don't know the whole story(I don't really feel like getting into it right now), but trust me if you did know you probably would've handled it worse than I did. That's how bad it was.

Hey

I have no idea what happened last night. All I remember is I talked to my Love until both of our phones died then I passed out.
Usually I wouldn't worry cause I was obviously super tired. But my friend was freaking out this morning saying they're sorry for being annoying... And they kept saying that over and over again. It didn't make sense to me because I don't remember anything annoying happening.
It probably wasn't the nicest thing to do, but I calmed them down and told them they were being ridiculous. I'm not annoyed or upset or whatever and if I was I'd tell you. Which is true. I would... I'm not the type to hide my feelings.

Hey

People can be so annoying and stupid sometimes...  Whether you're related to them or not. They're always holding things you did when you were a kid,  when you didn't know any better, when you were young and stupid against you. As if that was a part of your personality, as if that's who you are.
Newsflash people make mistakes. We do things we don't mean to do. That doesn't make us bad people. No one's perfect, everyone's different. I have no regrets.
Am I sorry it happened? Yes. Do I wish I had taken life more seriously? Yes. If given the opportunity would I go back and change it? Back when I was younger the answer to this question would've been yes, but now it's a little more complicated... I don't regret what I did cause it made me a better person. I learned and I grew and I'm not ashamed. Not when I think about who I use to be...

Hey

I don't know how long it's been since I last talked to my friend, but I finally got in touch with them today.  Of course they were upset cause they think I'm neglecting them. They don't understand that life has been crashing down around me and I've been busy trying to get things back to normal. They don't understand that it's going to take awhile or that it might never be like it was before.
I hate it when people say they'll be there for you, but then they're not. Like what was the point in even saying that? I don't know... Maybe I don't understand cause to be completely honest I'm not like that at all. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. When I say I'm going to be there for you, I'm there for you. Even if it hurts me.
It's like what I told my Love a few years back. I'm loyal to a fault.
I don't know if he truly understood what I meant, but it's true.

Hey

Don't know what to say...  Same stuff different day. I've been so busy it's not even funny. It doesn't help that time passes by so quickly...
I'm actually glad I haven't heard from my Love lately cause I probably wouldn't be able to talk to them anyway.
I know it probably sounds like I'm complaining but I'm not. It's actually good that I'm busy cause it gives me less time to think(anyone who's read any of my last posts probably knows what I'm talking about)
On a side note I think it was yesterday or the day before that(don't remember) I was watching this video on YouTube about people who get help with their life from like a counselor or something and it made me think...  If you don't have empathy, compassion or the ability to put yourself in their shoes and I don't know, actually help. Maybe you have the wrong job.
Seriously some of the things they were saying to these people were just awful. Especially that girl who clearly had a bad case of depression. I hope she's alright now and got some real help cause if her Mom keeps treating her like she was treating her, calling her lazy or whatever that girl is going to do something they'll both probably regret in the long run.

Hey

I meant to write yesterday but the computer was being hogged and my phone was out of power. I tried to call my Love. I had something important to tell them but for whatever reason they never answered or called me back. I guess it doesn't really matter. I can always say what I need to say whenever we get in touch again.
Idk why but I've been addicted to Oblivion lately. I love all the Elder Scrolls games. Mostly Skyrim and Oblivion,  but I'm so busy I can't get into them as much as I'd like.
I hope nothing happens to this game. I'm playing it how I want for once and I made an Imperial who looks a lot like me.
In Oblivion it's hard to make good looking characters(probably cause the graphics aren't really good) so whenever I do make a good character I'm kind of stingy about it.

Hey

I know I already wrote today, but for some reason I want to write again. I think it's cause I've got a lot of energy. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Life, Death, Love, Hate, Joy, Sorrow. I know it sounds corny, but it's true.
I've got like a million things to say, but I don't know where to begin. Same with things I want to do... I don't know sometimes I think life is too short. Too short to do all the things you want to do, to say all the things you want to say and to learn all the things you want to learn.
I've been wondering recently if we only have one life. For two reasons:
1. Think of a Book you read or a Video game you played. You didn't just do it one time and learned everything you had to learn. You probably had to read the book or play the game multiple times to fully understand the story and whatnot. I think life is kind of like that.
2. We recycle cans, bottles, paper(the list goes on and on) so wouldn't it make sense that our creator would also recycle?

Well I don't know... You can disagree with me if you want. No one will know for sure until their time has came, but that's what I've been thinking about.
I talked to my friend and they said it made sense... I think it makes sense too, but then again not everyone is as laid back and open minded as I am.

Hey

I thought I only missed one day... Turns out I missed about three days.
I guess that's what happens when you're busy. You don't realize how much time has passed... Of course I probably wouldn't have realized anyway cause I have a horrible sense of time. To this day I have no idea why that is.
It's been raining lately. I actually like the rain. Of course what I could do without is the roof leaking. That's going to be hard to clean up... Especially how big it's gotten. Of course it just can't be fixed right now.
Oh well.
I'm really worried about my friend... I mean don't get me wrong I'm glad cause they're going to graduate this summer, but I've been talking to them about their classes and whatnot and I hope they understand what they've gotten themselves into. The last thing I want is for them to break under the pressure. That's going to make things worse not better...
Maybe after they graduate I'll talk them into taking a break. I understand that this is for their future... for my future... for the future of our some day family... and I congratulate them. But it's not good to be so stressed out. To work yourself to death.

Hey

Well... It's the day after Valentine and I don't know if things are back to normal...
To be completely honest I don't think things will ever be back to normal...
At least not how I want them to be, Not how I remember it...
And you know what? That's ok. Cause in the long run you're supposed to grow and change.
That's basically what life is. Growing and changing. Nothing stays the same.
I know it's scary... It's like what I told my friend. We all get scared, it's how we handle being scared that counts.
I personally am glad that I changed. I don't think my friends would like me if I was the same person I was before. I don't think I'd have friends if I was the same person I was before.
Even though the person I was before wasn't exactly bad, they weren't exactly good either.
Yeah. I have regrets. Even though I try not to let it hold me down... Sometimes it's hard to function when I think about the things I used to do. I either get super embarrassed or super ashamed(depending on the flash back).
I think I've come to terms with it though cause I don't get flashbacks like I used to.

Hey

So many things to say, not enough time to say them.
So many things to do, not enough time to do them.
Life is so short, it's hard to believe you only live once.
I been thinking about this for a long time and I think the only way we'd get anything out of this life. The only way we'd learn anything or understand anything is if we went through it multiple times. That's how it's like with books and video games. I imagine that's how it'd be with life.

Today is Valentine's Day. The day we cherish those we love. I wished everyone a good day this morning, but I know there are people out there who are lonely. Luckily I'm not one of those people. Well actually I do feel lonely sometimes, but I have someone I love who loves me and the only reason they couldn't be with me today was cause they were busy with college.
It's going to be totally worth it in the long run. Cause if they succeed(which I know they will) they'll graduate this summer and then nothing and no one can keep us apart.

Hey

I was going to write something earlier today, but I got unexpectedly busy... To be completely honest I don't do well under pressure and right now I'm feeling kind of stressed out. I hope everything returns to normal, but I'm not sure if it will. It might get better... it might get worse... right now I really can't say.
I wanted to write something else. I've been thinking about it since yesterday and it actually inspired me to write this blog. Unfortunately my mind is going a mile a minute and I can't really focus right now. To be completely honest I feel like I might have already forgotten what it was...
Oh well. I'm sure it'll come back to me(it usually does).

Hey

I don't know why, but It's always awkward(at least for me) when you start something.
This is my own personal blog which means I'll be posting a lot of stuff that interests me. Since writing is therapeutic it'll probably be about my life and stuff. I don't really know.
This actually isn't my first time blogging. I had another blog that I used to write in all the time, but I think I deleted it. I also helped my Dad with his music blog KNK Music But it's been awhile since I did that... To be completely honest I don't even know if he's been keeping up with it. If you like music though I suggest you check it out. Who knows? You might enjoy it.